From the top: part 1

This experience I/We've had is the hardest thing I've EVER had to go through. And as difficult as it's been, it's a journey that I don't want to forget. So here's the first of several posts to to tell the story of this crazy roller coaster ride we've been on for the past year.

MAY 2005
Looking back I still can not believe it when I saw those 2 lines on the pregnancy test. I was extremely shocked. I of course called my friend Danielle right after I took the test in complete disbelief. She seemed excited, I however was mortified. Things were going so well for us. I had this great job that I loved, our family was a nice even number. How would another baby fit in? I was a bit afraid to see what Ian's reaction was going to be, sure that he'd feel the same as me. But to my suprise he was CALM. Much more so than me. He just said well it's another baby to love. After a week or so my feelings started settling down. I told Susanne at the store that I'm pregnant, but would not be leaving my job. I'd just need a short maternity leave. And I'd be back to manage the store. Things would work out.

A short time after the positive test, I started having some cramping. I called my Dr. to have it checked out. She sent me to the hopital imaging ceter, where they did an ultrasound. The following day my Doctor's office called. They totally should've asked if I was sitting down before they told me it's TWINS!!! I seriously almost fell over. The Doctor wanted to see me back a.s.a.p. to discuss it further. The nurse went on to tell me the twins are in one sac and they are going to be identical. WOW!!! Of course at this point I didn't have a clue as to what that really meant. So I went on in a clueless bliss for a few days, until my next O.B appointment.

Ian was in complete denial when I told him later that day. He didn't believe me, and totally thought I was joking. When he realized I wasn't joking, I think he seriously wanted to RUN. Just joking, well kind of. By the way I did tell him to sit down before I told him. Smart huh?

The next few days were spent telling a few of our close friends and family. We told my grandma right away who predicted that I was going to have identical twin girls when she first heard the news that we were expecting again. SPOOKY! Everyone was in complete shock, but seemed really excited for us. I'm sure they were all really thinking how in the H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS are they going to handle that.

At my first O.B. appt. Dr. Hovey went into detail about what this pregnancy was going to be like for me. I was completely stunned when she told me how extremely rare this type of pregnancy is. That is when I first heard the term Monochorionic-MonoAmniotic twins also known as mono-mono or momo twins. In our type of twin pregnancy which only occurs in about 1% of twin gestations, the egg splits late, after the amniotic sac is beginning to form. So our babies were sharing one sac with no dividing membrane, and they were also sharing one placenta. The risks are extremely high, and this pregnancy has a mortality rate of somewhere between 50-60%.

Why so risky you ask? Well without a dividing membrane our babies are free to move about around eachother, tangling together and most dangerously tangling their imbilical cords. The tangles can lead to tight knots which can cut of oxygen/blood flow to one or both babies, which can lead to fetal death. There are many other complications that factor in because of only sharing one placenta which is usually very small for 2 babies.

Dr. Hovey told me she could'nt handle my prenatal care alone, and that I'd have to see a Perinatologist @ OHSU. She also wanted me to go there to have a follow up ultrasound done with a level II machine to rule out any misdiagnosis. We'd have to wait until I was somewhere between 10-16 weeks for a true diagnosis. So the waiting started. I spent the next 4 weeks in complete and utter horror.